Archive for the ‘Church’ Category

  • Web Site Frustrations

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    Something really got to me yesterday that made me end up writing this big three page entry, then after venting a whole bunch, I decided not to post the entry..  But this is still really bugging me, so I figured I should at least get it off my chest…

    As you may or may not know, I’m a bit of a web site design nerd.  Throughout the last 9 years I’ve designed or been involved with designing around 50 different web sites.  I’m not one of those sexy, flash-site designers, but I’ve always been proud in my ability to create functional, attractive and useful web sites.  It’s a gift that I truly enjoy…

    One of the sites that I’m most proud of has been the design of my Campus Ministry web site…  That site was a long time coming and took two different re-designs, but after hours of work in color-coordinating, structuring and maintaining, we put together an awesome site, and probably one of the better campus ministry sites in the country..  

    Well that all changed in the last few months, and now has taken a grave turn…  Last night I’m surfing around the net, when I came across my old Campus Ministry site, which I found has been redesigned by the new campus minister… Now I’m not some egotist that thinks my designs are the best, nor am I not willing to except the ever-changing nature of the Internet, but I can’t help but be offended when they’ve gone and taken something that I worked hard at for years, and totally discarded it – replacing it with something that frankly looks elementary and basic. It would be one thing if they weren’t able to update the site – but I went out of my way to make the web site easily editable – but I guess that wasn’t good enough.

    And what’s going on with the web site is an illustration of why I’ve really struggled with the new leadership at my campus ministry, and ultimately at my church.  Here, likely because of youth and inexperience, the leadership has elected to throw out quality ministry/work, and has sacrificed quality (to the point of mediocrity) just so they can have full ownership and most importantly control.  They are unwilling to look to others that may have more skill and expertise – if it exists outside their inside group.

    This happened before when Sean, Emily and myself felt so alienated that we had no choice but to resign from student leadership.  It’s why the UM Search Committee was forced to pass up quality candidates for a campus minister.  It’s the reason why I go to Pastoral Council meetings with few expectations in being able to make any real impact.

    Before I was fuming mad, but now I would still say that I’m pretty pissed, but trying to turn this around, this is an opportunity for me to devote my web design skills more fully into some other projects (my friend’s web site, my cousin’s org she’s starting, and of course, the NCSC site), and this may also be an opportunity for the staff at church to figure out what exactly they want regarding their web site…

    Once again, I am reminded of Matthew 10:14: "Whoever will not receive you or listen to your words – go outside that house or town and shake the dust from your feet."

    Oh and if you’re curious, some links.  Like Fox New: We report: you decide…

  • NCSC Colorado Trip

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    Hey!   Remember me?  It’s that guy who used to post all the time and now dropped off the face of the earth…   Well now I’m back, and happy to be so!  These last few days, as always, have been really busy, but especially so because I have been exploring Northern Colorado with my friends from the NCSC!  These last few days have been a blast, and we covered a lot of ground.  Rather than writing this in a "Novel" version, I would like to hi-lite each day’s events and share some remarks & pictures from my experiences!

     

    Wednesday, July 20th
    Picking up Ross & Amanda, Getting Settled, Dinner

     

    Dinner at Young’s Vietnamese Cafe – Always a good choice for lunch, Young’s was also exceptional at dinner.  Their portions are HUGE, but both Ross & Joel managed to down their whole dinners.  Geez!  I still have left-overs!  The appetizers were also really good – we had these awesome lettuce wraps, as well as grill-your-own meatballs with rice paper (Mmmmmm).

     

    Old Town Fort Collins I – Coopersmith’s – Emily and Joel joined the three of us for a nice game of pool and some good home-brewed beer.  We ended up playing three games of pool.  Joel and I won the first two, then we did a guys vs. girls game where we almost won, but ended up scratching on the 8 ball (bummer!).  We were cleaning up before though.  Oh well

     

    Thursday, July 21
    Journey down to Denver, Pick up Maureen & Erin, Conference Call, More Old Town

     

    Red Rocks Amphitheater – I’ve never been to Red Rocks when an event/concert wasn’t going on, so I wasn’t sure how fun this would be, but it turned out to be really cool.  The whole place is free to get into during the day (when there’s not a show that day), and it’s all open.  You can actually go onto the stage as well (although they were doing stage work the day we were there).  It’s quite a site to be sitting at row 1 and looking up to see all 9,500+ seats.  We then proceeded to climb ALL the stairs up to the Visitor’s Center, which is a nice AIR-CONDITIONED place.  Downstairs they had this thing called "Hall of Music" or something like that, where they had displays and plaques every year since Red Rocks has been opening, and showed who played there each year.  It was soooo cool!

     

    Mother Cabrini Shrine – We only had enough time to drive by and stop in the gift shop.  But looking back on it, it was a mixed blessing that we couldn’t climb the shrine stairs, at that point it was over 100 degrees outside!  It’s a really pretty place, I wish we had more time to spend there.  Just going to the gift shop really didn’t do that place justice.

     

    16th Street Mall – Denver - While we were down there something struck me – I really couldn’t think of any places along the 16th Street Mall that were "authentically Denver/Colorado".  We ended up going to Johnny Rockets, which was pretty good.  The shakes were awesome!  It was really too hot to do anything else down on the 16th Street Mall, so we headed up to rest up for the conference call.

     

    Team America - One of the great ways to get ready for a conference call is to see a movie that will pump you up (also a great way to kill some time), so we popped in Team America…  Probably not the best way to prepare for a Catholic Student Conference Call, but it was pretty funny nonetheless.

    "I PROMISE I WILL NEVER DIE…"

     

    NCSC EB Conference Call – Doing a conference call with half the group physically present is harder than it looks.  We had to deal with a few technical issues, and we ended up having to send Maureen upstairs with the headset, which turned out to be a lot of fun.  She was up in my office, so we decided to "possess" my desktop computer with VNC on my laptop.  It was hilarious…  My favorite was "Help I’m stuck in the printer!", then sending the doc to print.

     

    Old Town Fort Collins II – Old Chicago’s – One of the hallmarks of Old Town Fort Collins is sitting at a table next to the open windows at Old Chicago’s.  We got to enjoy the great happy our specials of $2.50 drafts and $2.25 personal pizza’s.  That spells great, cheap dinner (along with Italian Nachos as well!  During dinner we got to take some fun pictures as well!


    Maureen, myself & Amanda


    Maureen with her "crush" Josh.

    While we were out there Erin decided to let our waiter know that "Maureen thought he was hot and would like to take his picture."  Josh was more than happy to oblige and it was funny how he introduced himself to Maureen I don’t think she left him her number though…

     

    Friday, July 22nd
    Mini-Retreat with an old friend, Beer Tasting, Dinner with Mom, Drive-In

     

    Retreat at Pegge’s Cabin – Pegge, my old campus minister, mentor and great friend graciously offered a 1/2 day retreat to the 5 of us, so on Friday morning we headed up 287 towards the Wyoming border & Pegge’s beautiful cabin.  We had an amazing time doing some great sharing, practical questions & answering (we got some great advice), did some quiet reflection, and then ended it with an awesome Lectio Devina with seeds.  For me personally I received a lot of clarity on some things I’ve had questions about in NCSC and my life in general.

     

    Being up there made me realize just how much I missed being up at the cabin.  I realized the last time I was there was May of 2004, and it was an awesome feeling to be back up there with student leaders once again.  It is such a quiet and peaceful place, check out these pictures of Ross & Amanda journaling to get a sense of the beauty up there:

     

    Also a retreat up at the cabin wouldn’t be complete without a Student Leader group picture

     

    Being up there and seeing this group picture makes me a bit nostalgic for the good ‘ol days of Spirit Fire Retreats…  Ahh  Spirit Fire VII…


    Joel, Emily, myself, Gina & Brian

     

    Anyway back to the retreat…  We ended with a lunch of sandwiches and then made our way home…  Not before driving a whole 2 minutes to Wyoming and taking a picture there (to say that the NCSC people have been in that state), then we headed back home for a nap and to prepare for beer tasting.

     

    Beer Tasting at New Belgium BreweryWe unfortunately ended up missing the beer tour (I thought it was at 2 & 4pm, but it turned out to be at 1pm, 2pm & 3pm.  We went straight over to the tasting room and found the bar.  Now for those of you who live in Fort Collins and haven’t done this yet – you need to do this at least some point!  It’s a really fun experience.  You sit yourself down at the bar and they give you a menu where you can select up to 4 different beers from.  As you can see in my picture on the right I was straining my brain doing just that.  At that point you and all of your friends have this little goblets of different beers that you can taste!

     

    Maureen, Amanda, Ross & I all tasted!  There were a few beers that Maureen and Amanda didn’t really like and ended up not drinking, but Ross was happy to take care of them   I’m not really sure if I found a favorite among that batch.  I really like the Abbey, but I would have to say that I probably enjoyed Blue Paddle the best.  We then went down to Loveland to have dinner with my mom who made Kabobs, and then we headed up to the drive-in.

     

    The Island at the Drive-In – Great movie!  I will have to write more about it later on, but if you’re hungry at all for a conceptual sci-fi flick or an action film, go check out this movie!  More on it to come…   Bethany also came, and it was sooo good to see her as well! Before the movie we stopped to get some Sonic, which many people hadn’t been to, we got some shakes and ice cream, except they didn’t have the Cream Slush available ARGGGH, oh well   One of the things that I love most about summer is sitting out in the open night air of Colorado and watching a movie.  It was a beautiful, clear and starry night, complete with a full moon and a good time was had by all.  On the way home people had to be crazy with the camera (as you can see Erin doing here…)

     

    Saturday, July 23rd
    Taking Amanda home , Estes Park, the People’s Republic of Boulder

     

    After getting up the next morning at 6:30am to take Amanda to DIA to make her 9:30am flight, I got home at 9am hoping to get a few more hours of sleep.  As it turns out everyone pretty much slept until noon, except for Maureen who took the morning to capture her thoughts on the trip.  I enjoyed the extra hours of sleep.  After we all got up and had the breakfast Ross made for us, we set out to explore some of the mountains.

     

    Big Thompson Canyon / Viestenz-Smith Mountain Park – We stopped at this little Gem up the Big Thompson canyon to spend some time in the river and enjoy the nature. We had a blast taking pictures, we must have taken at least 30 pictures down there.  Here are a few…


    Ross, Maureen & Myself

     


    Ross, Erin & Maureen ( I haven o idea what they’re doing, but the background is pretty )

     


    Erin having too much fun with the water bottle (the expression on Maureen’s face says it all )

     

    After having all of our fun in the canyon we finally made it to Estes Park, where it really began to rain.  I love the feeling of rain in the mountains!  We then walked a little bit of Estes before heading to Mass at Our Lady of the Mountain, then after Mass we went back into town to get some Salt Water Taffy…  I don’t think anyone really had any before we bought it, but it turned out to be really good   We had a small snack and then made our way down to Boulder to meet up with a few of my friends on Pearl Street.

     

    Pearl Street Mall, Boulder – We rolled into Boulder around 7:15 and were lucky enough to find some close-by parking.  We then met up with Leanne and Joel (and eventually Emily) and started looking for a place to eat along the Pearl Street Mall.  Along the mall we got to see all of the street performers, exhibitors, interesting shops and of course HIPPIES!!   We ended up at this "Lucky Dog" grill which was on the roof overlooking the courthouse.  The weather held out, and we were treated to some great live music and fun atmosphere!


    myself, Joel & Leanne toasting to a night on the town

     


    Me finishing off my second beer (no more after that)

     

    Old Town Fort Collins III – Walrus Ice Cream - After multiple attempts in the last few days, we managed to make it back up to Fort Collins before Walrus Ice Cream before they closed.  Unfortunately because we made it in the last 1/2 of them being opening, they were already starting to close and it wasn’t as "Walrus-y" as it typically was   But the ice cream was still pretty good. 

     

    Sunday, July 25th
    Move along home

     

    The morning was pretty much spent taking people back to the airport.  I got up at 5:30am to take Maureen and Erin back, and then a few hours of sleep later I left at 10am to take Ross back to the airport.  I had lunch with my friend Sam and made my way back up to Fort Collins.  We already moved the extra beds out of my apartment yesterday afternoon, and it’s amazing how easy it was to get them out, but also how much they transformed my apartment yet again..  Now just to get things back to normal.

     

    Overall the trip was a blast!  You never really realize just how many cool things you have in your area until you get to show people from out of town around.  Thank you to Maureen, Erin, Ross & Amanda for coming and visit me!  I hope that your travels bring you back some day soon!  To everyone else on the NCSC NT that wasn’t able to make it – we missed you, but you are also always welcome to come and visit me!  Thanks again to Emily, Pegge, Joel, Leanne, Bethany, my Mom and all the other people who helped make this trip possible!!  You guys rock!

     

    I have a Photo Gallery set up with all the pictures that we took during the weekend.  Check it out if you’re interested!
    >>Colorado Trip Photo Gallery

  • Pastoral Council Doubts

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    Interesting night tonight..  Not really quite sure just how I feel right now.

    Tonight I had a Pastoral Council meeting at my church.  These are monthly meetings held on the 1st Monday, and it seems that whenever Pastoral Council Monday rolls around it really zaps the energy out of me.

    First of all, I’m chairperson of the Pastoral Council, and while it sounds pretty cool and important, this is really something that I reluctantly accepted.  Believe it or not, I’m the only 3rd year member on there (Pastoral Council members are term-limited to 3 years at my church), and we had a chairperson throughout the first-half of the year but she had to resign because she was going back to school in Denver and her classes were taking up all of her time, so I as the Vice/Co-Chair reluctantly accepted the position.  I even tried to back-pedal out of it when they offered it to me, talking about how I’m not sure if a student should be chair of the Pastoral Council, how I don’t have a lot of time and so-forth, but it still got thrust upon me unfortunately.  So I’ve been trying to make an honest effort out of it, but truth be told I’m not really passionate about the inter-politics & (lack of good) decision making at my church that’s been going on for the last years.  And then when it’s time to get something done for the PC I’ve had the hard time making any time for it.  I feel bad because I’m not giving the group a real honest effort, but at the same time my heart’s not really into it…  It’s just one of those things.

    The meeting went pretty well, it flowed alright and I tried to keep people somewhat on topic, but again it’s hard hearing some of the things at those meetings.  It goes back to some of the struggles I blogged about back on May 12th - decisions about how they are (not) going to replace the Director of Campus Ministry position and all of that crap.  When it got rehashed again it really made me upset.

    At the end of nights like these I ask myself "Why am I still going to these meetings?"  I’m really not getting anything out of it.  I don’t really I’m making any valuable contributions.  Do I really need to be here?  Then I am reminded of a column that I read back in 2003, from Ron Rolheiser, a very wise priest that was called "Pentecost Happened at a Meeting".  In his column, he reminds us:

    "Pentecost happened at meeting and it happened to a community, to a church congregation assembled for prayer, to a family of faith gathered to wait for God’s guidance. Moreover it happened in a common room, a meeting room, in one of those humble, church- basement, type of rooms. It can be helpful to remember that."

    He ends the column by saying that "When you don’t know what else to do, keep going to meetings."  So I will keep doing that.  I know that there’s a reason I should be at these meetings.  What it is, I have no idea, but I will still hold that faith…  But I still can’t help but wonder "Why me?"

  • Horrible UMAC Night

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    Well I knew that I would eventually talk/gripe about this on Xanga, but I was kinda hoping that it would have happened a little later than 4 days into my on-line journal…  lol…

    So tonight I’m pissed, I’m frustrated and I’m really tired – and it’s all thanks to a meeting I had tonight.  Before then my day was going pretty decent.  I’m done with my finals, I had a really productive day at work that ended with me feeling great. What more could I ask for?  Well certainly not a UMAC meeting.

    UMAC stands for University Ministry Advisory Commission which is a group at our church that comes together to help vision and offer direction for our campus ministry.  This is basically my last tie into campus ministry at my church (the ugly part which I don’t enjoy talking about).  So many changes have occurred in the last year, but it looks like the last day of finals wasn’t too late for more changes to come. 

    So enter the UMAC meeting where the following occurred.

    Beginning of the meeting Bombshell – It’s now official, we’re no longer going to hire a director of campus ministry, or a campus minister for that matter.  Our pastor decided that because we have a new priest, utility costs have risen and we want to give everyone in the staff a small raise, we no longer have money to hire a PROFESSIONAL campus minister.  Perfect, just perfect.  But now it gets better…  We ARE going to hire a part-time campus minister – WHO IS A STUDENT!?!   Boy, good thing they told the Campus Minister search committee that – OH WAIT – they didn’t!  Perfect – just perfect.  Not only did we piss away our opportunity to get an experienced PROFESSIONAL Director of Campus Ministry or settling for someone fresh out of college with no experience (like our current CM) – we couldn’t even do that!   And it’s not even the fact people value saving money more than they value bringing in qualified people, but the fact that this decision was once again made in the back room, counter to the values of the community and volunteers!

    So this already put a bad taste in my mouth for the meeting, but things were going to get worse…  Towards the end of the meeting we were talking about UMAC membership for next year and the Campus Minister and someone from the student leadership team made a comment about how it’s important that we should have some students on UMAC who are involved in the activities..  "They’re not trying to say that anyone does this, but it should be important that students who are on UMAC are students who attend activities and know other students, etc".  Well of course the only other students there are myself at Emily, so I wonder who the comments are directed at…

    So in response to my accusation that "I am not involved and can no longer represent students", I offer these points:

    Point #1: What is your definition of not involved?  I’m not doing the things that you like to do?  I’m still at church three nights a week, involved in 2 leadership groups and am now CHAIR of the Pastoral Council (a role I have reluctantly accepted for the greater good).  How can I not be involved at this parish?

    Point #2: Given that I was in Spirit Fire student leadership for two years in a row (and signed on for a third year), helped plan & lead over 20 retreats in the four years I’ve been involved in campus ministry and have logged more volunteer hours at that church than the campus "ministers" combined in my tenure, I think it’s safe to say I have an understanding of campus ministry.

    Point #3: This last semester I have traveled 7 times for NCSC and have been actively involved with Campus Ministry on a national level – cut me some slack.. I couldn’t come to your retreat because I was in Orlando…  It’s not like I’m actively boycotting your activities, so why don’t you cut me some FREAKING SLACK?  I still have campus ministry ties which are just as valuable.

    Point #4: Granted, I don’t know many of the students anymore, but I think that might be due to the 90%+ TURNOVER RATE our program has had..  Maybe I don’t know many of the students anymore because all of the students I knew and were friends with are gone..  Where are they - I have no idea…  But you might want to take that into account before you say I know no one.

    Point #5: This is our last and only tie to Campus Ministry at J23…  Emily and I have gone from being two of the most involved people there to being pariahs in the community.  We gave you what you wanted by resigning from Spirit Fire and staying away….   Are we that big of a threat that you need us to relinquish in one remaining tie to the program…  I’m getting pretty sick of this hostility towards the institutional memory.

    What makes things really tough is the fact when I told the committee that I was thinking about not coming back (on the heels of those comments being made) all of the parish & faculty members of the community talked to me privately expressing their disappointment if I would leave and all of them said I am a valued member and are imploring me to stay on…  It’s an awesome feeling to be affirmed in that way, but it also reminds me that the people who really have a problem with me being there are the ones that have all the control at this point.

    Am I coming back?  I have no idea…  I need some time to think & to pray, maybe a week or twelve…   I will say this though:  I have a mental list of reasons I’m still around – seeds of hope & joy that I have..  One of them is playing music on Saturday night, another is working with the youth – but one of them was bringing in a QUALIFIED Director of Campus Ministry to help shape the program and challenge students like myself…   So one more item is crossed off that list…

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